Wednesday, May 25, 2011

9 Lessons

As a teacher in Indonesia I prepared many lessons for my students; but, I have also learned a few lessons of my own. Here I have made a list of the top 9 lessons I have learned in as many months.

9. Rely on the kindness of strangers- this lesson from Scarlett O'Hara could not have been any more relevant when living and traveling in a country where your circle of close friends and acquaintances can be counted on one hand and your command of the language is basic due to sheer laziness. There have been numerous times when I have had to rely on strangers using only my basic bahasa and crude sign language to communicate. On the reverse side of this I have also gained a healthy distrust of people and have learned to keep a wary eye on anyone who offers their "help".

8. People are a reflection- One of my Ibus once told me that Indonesian people are like mirrors. Not only could my students tell when I was tired or in a bad mood but they responded differently as a result- not as willing to participate, not as focused on my lessons. Ibus and Bapaks that I met on the street were the same- they would often leer at me with a look of distrust until I smiled at them at which time they reflected my smile back at me. I've never known my mood and outward appearance to have such an effect on people.

7. Appreciate your food- in a country where everything and anything is eaten (dog, bat, rat, chicken feet...and all of the other parts of the chicken), and your food is often looking at you, I have come to appreciate all that I eat. Not only have I begun to eat meat with bones in it (gasp!); but I have learned to eat entire fish with my hands...although I was never brave enough to eat the head.

6. Friends are a lifeline- Never in my life have my friendships been so important. The friends that I made here in Indonesia were essential in sometimes just making it through the day and my friends at home have kept me anticipating my return. I cannot wait to be reunited with all of you!

5. Family is irreplaceable- No one can choose their family- but I like to think that I made out extremely well. A Mom who sent cards almost weekly, a Dad who kept a daily journal for me so I wouldn't feel out of the loop, and siblings who sent me care packages and accepted my calls at all hours. My family is a large part of my success and I realize now what a gret support system I have.

4. Don't sweat the small stuff- In Indonesia there was  so much "small stuff" (lack of electricity or water for hours/days, choking traffic, language barriers, sometimes sheer incompetence) that if I let it all get to me I would have been running a long time ago. Indonesia has taught me that I have control over very little; a revelation to a girl who likes to be in control of everything. I have learned to take deep breaths, let it go, and relax... usually while laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

3. Adapt to your surroundings- The girl who used to cringe at the thought of a motel is now sleeping in hostels and guest houses that don't even fall on the star rating system- riding on the backs of broken down motorcycles- eating from street stalls that the health department would shut down in the blink of an eye. I can't say that I'm more tolerant or appreciative of different cultures and religions; but, I have definitely learned to adapt myself to them.

2. It's ok to be alone- Learning to be alone has been a large part of my experience living abroad. When you only work 20 hours a week and your friends and family don't live nearby; you have plenty of time alone. Coming from a large family this is not something I was ever very good at; but, I have learned to savor my alone time with good books, pirated DVD's, and music(essential to provide background noise when the house is too quiet).

1. Patience- I thought that I was a patient person before coming to Indonesia, but living in this country has tested and perfected that patience. Patience was essential when my students sometimes looked at me blankly during lessons; when I had to repeat my bahasa Indonesia incessantly because my accent wasn't correct and the person couldn't understand what I was saying even though I was sure I had the right word; when a meeting, class, flight, seminar, dinner would start an hour or more late because of jam karet (rubber time); anytime I had to tell my Ibus "no" over and over and over; when ceremonies lasted much longer than necessary in the hot sun in a language that I didn't understand; when I was asked to sing in public for the hundredth time; when fending off strange men who thought it was ok to ask where I lived and if I was alone; when I was being yelled at, beeped at, and sometimes followed on my daily jogs around the city; when forced to wear uncomfortable traditional clothing. Patience.

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